The Eurosivion Song Contest has produced some fine songs over the years, but has also given us more than its fair share of clangers. Ahead of this year's competition, we've dug out ten of the worst entries ever. Earplugs at the ready...
10. Hot Eyes - Sku' du spørg' fra no'en?
Welcome to 1985, when haircuts that look like pot plants were acceptable, shiny clothes were encouraged, and small children tried to irritate performers on stage. Kirsten Siggard and Søren Bundgaard, billed as Hot Eyes (which is precisely what everyone in the audience was feeling after seeing this performance), came 11th with this song. Somehow.
9. Verka Serduchka – Dancing Lasha Tumbai
Imagine a camp Dr Evil singing a terrible dance version of some gypsy-folk ditty and you might get somewhere close to this horrendous 2007 entry.
8. Andy Abraham - Even If
Andy Abraham used to be a dustman, and true to form this 2008 entry was absolute rubbish. Andy finished bottom of the class for good old Blighty with just 14 points.
7. Samantha Janus - A Message To Your Heart
Yet more British embarrassment here as actress and (once but never again) singer Samantha Janus turns in a tone deaf performance in 1991. Clearly no one was listening as she somehow finished tenth with a song that sounds like the intro to a Saturday evening TV show from the 80s.
6. Pan - Bana Bana
Ever wanted to hear pop and classical music fused together alongside wobbly vocals? Of course you haven't. But Pan (we assume he's the chap excitedly conducting this orchestra), did just that in 1989. It won just five points and came 21st out of 22. We can't fathom what must've finished 22nd.
5. Peter Nalitch and Friends – Lost and Forgotten
There was a rumour that this was a spoof entry, on account of ol' Peter having done previous songs that were clearly joke efforts. But parody songs are supposed to be funny, right? Not ear-splittingly bad.
4. Scooch - Flying The Flag
This song makes you want to rip your ears from your head and stuff so much cotton wool down there the only sound you will ever hear again is the muffled cry of your own brain as it tries its best to forget this tune. They finished 23rd out of 24 in 2007, but only because Malta gave them full marks in protest at everyone else voting for their neighbours.
3. Ping Pong - Happy Song
Much like ping pong is the less popular younger brother of Tennis, this entry is the adopted, hated child in the family of music. It won seven points in 2001, finishing 23rd out of 24 places.
2. Piero and the Music Stars - Celebrate
Switzerland became the first country to come last without a single point in a semi-final in 2004, with this brain-burstingly bad performance. Piero was so out of breath at the end, his performance melted into just pants and wheezing.
1. Jemini - Cry Baby
And cry we all did when the British duo Jemini murdered their own song in 2003. The pair were off-key, off-time and off-the-scale terrible. They later claimed they couldn't hear the backing track and had been warned by Terry Wogan they won't win any points on account of opposition to the Iraq War. Protest or not, the result was nul points.